By Eric
Published: June 27, 2007
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I wasn’t quite sure if I should put this in Tech Blog, or my Rants. But I thought it was funny so I'll give everyone access to read it.

Last night laying in bed, going over my final thoughts of the discussion on MOSS Admin functions that I spent most of the night putting together, Somehow the iPhone got in my head. How? you might ask. Well if you aren’t seeing iphone at every website, news cast, conversation or mall right now then you've lived under a rock for the past 6 months.

To the point, I started thinking of the other extremely vain object of the news. Paris Hilton... wow. What a gleaming ray of higher thinking and brilliance this one is. Then in the natural progression of thoughts right before you fade off to wonderland, I asked myself why are these two so much in the news lately. Then the comparisons.

Lets begin:

Both are so damn skinny, if you sit on them wrong you're sure to break it.

Both will cost you a small fortune to play with.(the iphone only costs around 250 bucks to make, the rest is "fan boy tax" and in the end will cost you $1936 dollars just in the first year)

Both look pretty but once you get it in your hands, will have very little practice use.

Both have spent time in lock up (Steve jobs' pants pockets can’t be a pretty place, although some of you mac heads out there I'm sure would willingly jump in)

Both have fan boys drooling all over them

Both take nothing but a mere finger sliding across it to turn them on (wow.. that was a cheap shot)

Both are slow unless driven by an outside force. (iphone will only run on At&t's Edge network. Even though at&t has 3g..get on wifi somewhere and your fine and well Paris.. well she's just not that quick unless she's had a few too many and decides to take another drive.)

Both are made with a good amount of plastics (ok thats a stretch but still probably true)

Both are highly imitated. (imitation is the best form of flattery right? iPhone already has a clone of itself floating around, a few windows mobile skins and new designs from other makers coming out that model some of the design features of the iphone. Paris has a legion of moronic girls modeling after her, carrying around little dogs "pretending to act stupid" etc. Heaven help us if they all decide to get trashed and hop in daddy's car)

Both have smudges. (Paris, on her criminal record and the iphone will have people constantly wiping off their screens)

Ok I've bashed both enough to not think about this tonight before I go to sleep. Just some final thoughts however. Seriously people why are there people standing in line 3 days before this thing goes on sale? It really is just a pretty paper weight. I'll be the first to admit, the phone is beautiful, i love the interface and how things move and work. But lets face it, it's sub par for whats on the market right now. Either way, if I had a choice to spend 1936 dollars on either Paris Hilton, or the iPhone.... Well let’s just say, I’ll never get a 4am call from my iphone needing bail money.

Just for the record. Here is a list of features that are basically common place for phones now a days that the glorious iPhone will NOT have. (if this were any other phone, it wouldnt be worth our time to even look at it based on these things alone) Full list here (love gizmodo)

• Support for all iPod accessories—doesn't support all car adapters for playing back, only charging
• An easy way to transfer phone numbers, via AT&T, from an existing phone
• Copy and paste support
• MP3/iTunes music ringtones (i thought this thing was an ipod.. you know.. something that plays songs.....)
• Built-in game support
• Flash support anywhere (including browser)
• Instant Messaging
• Picture messaging (MMS)
• Video recording
• Voice recognition or voice dialing
• Wireless Bluetooth Stereo Streaming (A2DP support)
• One-size-fits-all headset jack (May have to buy an adapter for certain headphones)
• 3G (EV-DO/HSDPA)
• A hardware keyboard
• GPS
• Removable battery
• Expandable Storage
• Direct iTunes Music Store Access (Over Wi-Fi or EDGE)
• BlackBerry support
• Flash or zoom on the camera
• Windows Media support

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